If you have decided to get divorced, there are steps that you and your soon-to-be-former spouse can take to ensure that you have a good divorce. If you work together, your divorce doesn't have to be painful and messy. When you have children, having a good divorce is even more important.
Choose to Go Through Mediation
You don't have to go through the formal court process, where you fight everything out with your spouse, if you don't want to. If you and your spouse agree on the reasons to get divorced, you may be able to work out how to separate and start living separate lives through mediation instead of through the court system.
In order for mediation to work, you need to be willing to listen to your spouse, think about both of your needs, and work together. If you and your spouse still respect and love one another, but just can't be together anymore, mediation can be a way to have a peaceful and positive divorce.
When you go through mediation, you both still need to hire attorneys. Your attorneys will help mediate the process, and then will set up everything legally for you after the mediation is complete so that everything you agreed to is formally determined.
Keep Your Kids Out of It
It can be hard, but your kids should not also feel like they are going through a divorce. Be kind and respectful to your partner in front of your kids. When you need to talk to your partner, create a private space to do so. Talk when your kids are at school or asleep, or go out to dinner or a coffee shop to talk about how you want to move forward. Do not have these conversations where your kids can hear them, directly or indirectly.
Make sure that your kids know that both of you still love them and that you still love and care about each other, but are just moving in different direction. Settle disagreements privately, and work together to have a united front for your children.
Make Custody Arrangements that Make Sense
Make your custody arrangements make sense for you and your partner. Your life is going to change, and your lifestyle. However, you can still make decisions together about how your lives will change to make it as easy on your kids as possible.
Perhaps you both move into the same apartment complex or housing development so each of your children's homes are right next to each other. Don't make all events his or her events; you should both show up to support your child in their big moments. Ask you children what they want and make sure that you all spend and share time together in a way that allows your children to maintain meaningful connections with both parents while still feeling like they have time to participate in activities, visit their grandparents, and hang out with their friends.
A divorce doesn't have to mean a disagreement; you and your spouse can work together for a peaceful resolution that allows your family to move forward on good, although different, terms by working together for a unique solution that fits your family. Contact a law firm like the WORKMAN LAW FIRM for additional information on the divorce process.